Hypochondriac

HYPOCHONDRIAC


THIS MORNING WHILE I SAT ON THE THRONE
AT WHICH BEING MANLY
I AM EXTREMELY ADEPT
I NOTICED TO MY SHOCK AND SURPRISE
THAT MY BIG TOE
ON MY LEFT FOOT WAS TURNING BLUE
NOW SINCE I AM A CANCER PATIENT
I WAS EXTREMELY CONCERNED
I’M DYING BY THE INCH I THOUGHT
I HAD VISIONS OF THE BLUE CREEPING UP MY LEG
TILL IT WAS GONE
I SET ABOUT THINKING OF A GUEST LIST FOR MY FUNERAL
AND THINGS I’D LIKE THE EULOGISTS TO SAY
GIVING MY BODY TO SCIENCE
HAVE THEM GIVING IT BACK
AS USED AND ABUSED
WONDERING WHO I LEAVE MY JOKE BOOKS TO
OR TO WHOM I WOULD LEAVE MY JOKE BOOKS
THEN I WET MY FINGER
AND RUBBED MY TOE
AND MIRABILE DICTU
THE COLOR CAME OFF
I WAS HIGHLY RELIEVED
AND DISAPPOINTED
I’D DONE SO MUCH PLANNING
SO MY FOOT’S BACK TO NORMAL
AND MY NEW BOUGHT
MULTI COLORED SLIPPERS
HAVE CONFESSED TO THE CRIME
I CAN GO BACK READING THE PAPER
IN PEACE OH SO SUBLIME


FRANK A VOLLMER