The Boy is Back

HEAR YE HEAR YE HEAR YE
ALL COMELY MAIDENS ON THE EAST COAST
YOUR STUD MUFFIN HAS COME BACK
FROM A BRIEF HEGIRA TO THE WEST COAST
YOUR PRINCE CHARMING
YOUR DREAM BOAT
YOUR NIGHT MARE
WHO SAID THAT
YOUR TRUE SELF
I THOUGHT I'd THROTTLED YOU
NO SUCH LUCK
WELL BE SILENT AND LET ME TELL MY STORY

TELL YOUR STORY
You've GOT SO MANY
YOU COULD BUILD THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING

NEVERTHELESS
I HAD A GREAT TIME IN CALIFORNIA
BUT I HAD TO TEACH MY CHILDREN A NEW LEXICON

THEY COMPLAINED ABOUT PUSHING MY WHEELCHAIR
SO MUCH DEAD WEIGHT
TO WHICH I TOOK UMBRAGE
TASTES GREAT WITH MUSTARD

WE AGREED IT SHOULD BE SO MUCH LIVE WEIGHT
AND NOT FROM A DEAD BUT A LIVE START
SUCH DIGNITY WAS ONLY APPROPRIATE
FOR MY POMPOSITY AND WEIGHT
I'm A BIG MAN OUT THERE
I'm A BIG MAN ANYWHERE

ONE CHILD ABANDONED ME IN A PARKING LOT
ONE CALLED ME A GREAT WHITE GORILLA
A GRANDCHILD CALLED ME GOOFY
I HAD A GREAT TIME

THE KING OF FRIVOLITY IS BACK
AND READY TO ROAR
TREMBLE WORLD TREMBLE

I THOUGHT ADVENT FOR A WHILE
WAS FOR ME
HOW HUMILIATING
TO FIND IT WAS NOT
AH WELL HUMILITY doesn't BECOME ME